Bursting with bullshit and making it your problem.
I have pent up anxiety and I’m taking it out on you. There is no safe word. I’m willing to joke about anything but I don’t find the Dick Clark jokes funny. That said, I’d love to play centerfield for the Giants but I can’t physically do it so I gave up on the dream. Dick needs to understand he can’t cover enough ground out there and give it up as well. ...
The only reason we shop at Whole Foods is because you want to look at all the...– my daughter, figuring out my hidden agenda (via changingstephanie)
Million dollar idea: Average people like to have...
So, I figure a dating site that only allowed average looking, heck, even below average looking people to pair up would be a huge success. I mean, it’s most people. Everyone would have someone. Having someone can be a cool thing. And once you’re mid-fuck, no one’s really that aware of a bodyfat roll or stretch mark. Normal looking people would get all the sex they wanted. Their...
ex tempore: So my Great Uncle took umbrage to my... →
dictiosus: He wrote this on my timeline (in regards to this article): Matthew….Uncle George Vavrek here….As one who has devoted his life to studying the Bible and Christianity and whose life is directed by the teachings of Jesus found in the Bible, I found the article you cited regarding the “Invention… It was a scoll-based game of ‘Telephone’ until the Guttenberg press...
Hey look at me Tumbln about Tumblr.
I like it when you reblog. I can’t follow everyone even though it seems like I do. Generally, if I follow you it’s because I like you and/or I find you interesting and/or I want to lick you. So, based on that, if you find something interesting and reblog it, that’s great. I’ve found some great stuff and great people via reblogs. Ditto with your crushlists. And I like your...
Random stuff like people post on blogs sometimes.
When I was in college, I worked at Macy’s in the furniture department. A guy came in and almost whispered to me that his wife sent him in to look at ‘sexual sofas’. I asked him to repeat it and he was really embarrassed. I told him he could do whatever he wanted on the sofa after he bought it but I wasn’t sure what he meant. Then it dawned on me. I said, “Are you...
The problem with the world is that the intelligent people are full of doubts,...– Charles Bukowski (via burnthazel)
When speaking to my kids, I speak English.
jamarcucci: Unless I’m saying, “LEAVE ME ALONE” or “BE QUIET” Then, apparently, I speak Chinese or German or Farsi or something they just can’t comprehend. This all you need to know about parenting.
Just a Pancake: Ha! Now there's like a million... →
rolandslinger: I agree this is a useful tool that helps tumblr function better. -HOWEVER- Don’t use this as an opportunity to lambaste tumblr for it. Last i checked, I can use this site without ads popping up and not have to pay for it. These guys work hard on this site too. Don’t get… The reason they don’t charge is because they can’t. If they could, they would. They make...
Something I'm to remember for 2012
flanelheartsilkjammies: I can start this day over anytime I choose I can find a change in attitude I can eliminate the negative thoughts I can ask for help and guidance when I need to I can turn this over I can let it go I can move on from here I can take a positive step forward I can begin again I can control me Fuck ; I can. I WILL I’ll join you in this.
Every day we slaughter our finest impulses. That is why we get a heartache when...– Henry Miller (via skeletales)
kaonicks asked: Marry me?
If you want to ask me something, I'm not going to...
I was stuck watching the subtitles on The View...
apieceofmine: and the hens were clucking about how Ricky Gervais was asked to host the Golden Globes again and re-hashed how celebs were crying over hurt feelings because he was so mean last time. How ridiculous is that? I’m not saying that celebrities don’t have feelings or that their hurt feelings are invalid. All I’m saying is that millions of dollars make your hurt feelings invalid. I...
Un giorno alla volta...: Need →
devilishmess: I want someone to grab me. To throw me down. To be rough with me. Slap me, bite me, pull my hair. Kiss me till my lips are bruised. Fuck me till I can’t breath. I want to lose myself in his taste. His smell. The feel of his hands and tongue and teeth on me, of him inside me…. You’d think the three of us could work this out.
As a baseball fan, I'm happy for Josh Hamilton... →
How much woman were you in 1966?
tacos4algernon replied to your post: Shuffle Ltd. I’m not sure if you know this, but Bob wrote that song about me.
It's 10:49 and I'm ravenous.
I have a tamale in the ‘fridge and I’m dying to devour it but then I’ll be hungry later.
Starting my iTunes over on the new MacBook. Almost all of my music is from CDs I load into iTunes. I’ve purchased very little. Some of my older music is stuff I’ve purchased a dozen times in my life and I’m not throwing another 99 cents in front of the altar of the music gods. So, this is limited to the 500 songs loaded so far and they’re random. They’re whatever CDs...
the random ramblings of an angry dinosaur:... →
fredasaurusrex: BUTTHURT TUMBLR DISCLAIMER: the opinions in this blog are mine. in no way does this mean that you aren’t a good person or that I or anyone else hates you. I am not a professional in anything but stating my opinion. if you do not agree with me I do not care. scroll on by this post so you don’t… Who loves you more than me? Nobody. But I kinda disagree. I won’t have a...
graydayson: NO excuses!! DON’T DRINK & DRIVE! - and don’t ride with anybody who does.Tipsy Tow offered by AAA: You don’t have to be a AAA member, from 6pm-6am on New Year’s Eve/Day they will take your drunk self and your car home for FREE. Save this number… 1-800-222-4357. Please re-post this if you don’t mind to help save lives. Nationwide If you drive drunk I will personally kick you...
HURRICANE PAULINA: Genuine →
only1paulina: Everyone has a heart. Not everyone’s heart is genuine. It takes a special individual to be truly sincere. To give without gain. To love without expectation. To care without limit. To accept without a second thought. To trust without hesitation. To take a chance without fear. Those people are rare….